And now for something completely different. The germ of this Comedy in Five Acts was planted more than 35 years ago by a wise young high school English teacher who declared that we all have within us a Comedy, a Tragedy, and a History to tell.

Below, one Scene at a time, is the Comedy, Eduard of Nemaha.

Above you will find Richard M. Nixon, a Play in Five Acts.

Tragedies are hard. It's still not finished.

EDUARD of NEMAHA
A Comedy in Five Acts


DRAMATIS PERSONAE



Horatio, Duke of Nemaha
Eunomia, Duchess of Nemaha
Eduard, their son
Raoul, brother to Horatio
Constantine, friend to Eduard
Marcol, a clown
Cleonastra, servant to Eunomia

Normalizovitch, a Russian tailor
Debrushka, his daughter

Patience )
Hope ) three sisters
Virtue )

Aufenkamp ) cousins to Eduard,
Aulterbach ) from Ravenna

Parkerson, a Forest Ranger
Praetoria, a daughter to Parkerson
Grutilda, a Witch



Divers Peasants, Servants, Attendants, Officers of the Court

Scene: The Palace at Nemaha, a Park in Peru

ACT ONE
Scene I. Peru, a Park.

[Enter three Peasants.]
1st Peasant. Good Duke Horatio today comes here to speak.
2nd Peasant. As I have heard. Much rumor accompanies him also.
1st Peasant. What rumor this?
2nd Peasant. That he will here announce the engagement of his son.
3rd Peasant. Rumors are fleet in such wood as these. 5
[Loud Alarum and Smoke.]
[Enter Grutilda, a witch.]
3rd Peasant. [Frighted.]
What evil appears on the wind?
1st Peasant. An undead spirit methinks it be.
2nd Peasant. No. ‘Tis garbed in rags and displays a broom.
3rd Peasant. This must be witchcraft then.
1st Peasant. It approaches. Let it cant. 10
Grutilda. The Duke shall speak to Peasant and Nobleman alike?
2nd Peasant. Aye, but not to Witch.
Grutilda. Be gone before I becurse your humbugged house!
[Exeunt Peasants, in haste.]
A ruler of rabble, Horatio.
Such sorry sort should not be found afoot. 15
[Enter Marcol, a clown.]
When, knave, does the Duke deliver his address?
Marcol. Within the hour, Madam. But why ask you?
Grutilda. Because I have business with that noble.
Now, knave, a nose for a nose. I presume
you are the good Duke’s private jester? 20
Marcol. I jest in Public, Madam. I am Marcol,
the Dukedom’s entertainer-in-chief
and master performer of tricks.
Grutilda. Mergatroids! A mere clown.
Marcol. Marginalia, yourself, Madam, a mere witch. 25
Grutilda. Not merely witch, but Grutilda Guttersnipe.
Marcol. Why, Madam, not the same Grutilda
who in bygone days did save my master,
the Duke of Nemaha, when he was but a lad.
[He kneels.]
Grutilda. You have heard Horatio mention me? 30
Marcol. Madam, my master speaks often of you,
in great kindness, too, despite your vocation.
The wind foretells that you’ve a message for my master.
Grutilda. That I have. A communication of acute consequence.
I anticipate much ado aroused at this. 35
Marcol. Madam, you tease my curiosity.
Impart to me your message.
Grutilda. ‘Tis not the time to reveal the grave report.
And not to you, knave. The world will wonder at my words.
[Exeunt.]