Scene V. Nebraska a Main Street.

[Enter divers Townspeople and Farmers.]
1st Farmer. Spring wears on to Summer and still no rain.
1st Townp. This must be hard on you farm folk, no doubt.
2nd Farmer. Aye, without some rain we’ll have no corn crop
this fall, and no soybeans at harvest time.
3rd Farmer. At least the wheat is good. 5
1st Farmer. At least. But corn’s the money crop. All that
nutritious protein for those feeding cows.
2nd Townsp.I suppose this means food prices will rise, again.
2nd Farmer. I don’t know. I’m not the one who controls
the price you pay. They pay me what they want, 10
then charge you what they want.
3rd Townp. ‘Tis always the middle man what causes
all the trouble.
3rd Farmer. Him and the Government!
1st Townp. Hah! The Government. They can’t do anything 15
right. Wage and Price Controls, humbug!
1st Farmer. They’ll never pay us for our corn loses,
which they should, for it is a natural disaster.
2nd Townp. Bureaucrats! They sit and make petty laws
in that granite city of Washington 20
with no thought or knowledge of what life is
like out here in the heartland.
2nd Farmer. Now, hold on there. Why do you desert our
Government? We are America, the
greatest country on Earth. Do you declare 25
against this Nation? Do you say evil
against the Government? Traitors!
3rd Townp. Look, I’ve been a Republican all my
entirety. And our President is
the greatest that’s ever been. I only 30
[Enter Carl Curtis, Senator from Nebraska, Bathe, a farmer, and Walker Cronkite.]
wish he would do something about this, our
lousy economic state.
1st Farmer. And bring a little rain, maybe?
Curtis. Look, eastern liberal pressman. This is
a true American. Look at his suffering. 35
His agony, the martyred corn. Gone, all gone!
Mark my words, eastern liberal pressman,
food prices will sore. All the corn is gone.
Cronkite. I have come to see first hand, but do not
comprehend. What is wrong with the crop I have 40
filmed this morning?
Curtis. Fool! ‘Tis burnt and lost of all water content!
The worst drought since the Great Depression!
This will not produce ne’ry an ear!
Bathe. ‘Tis true, Mr. Cronkite, we’ll have to cut 45
it, whole, to feed our cattle at much less
than a quarter of its nutritional value
than if it were fully grown ears of corn.
Cronkite. I see now. A sensible statement.
Say, Mr. Bathe, what do you see wrong 50
with the government?
Bathe. Well, it isn’t exactly Mr. Nixon’s fault,
just too much of a bureaucracy.
I think that is what causes inflation,
too much government to move before 55
any thing gets done. Or petty little
fools who sit in Washington and think they
can dictate the quality of life in
America. No, this is where it’s at.
Here in the Midwest, in Central Michigan, 60
Southern Tennessee, Eastern Vermont,
Northern Oregon. This is what America
is about. Not the little patch of Potomac
landfill where tiny people tell
America what’s good for America. 65
Just look about you, Mr. Cronkite.
This very state had Signs. Good Signs
of Tourist Intent, posted along the
Great Highway, to inform the vacationing
family of many fine attractions, 70
both pleasing to the visitors and to
the State, for it did bring in much needed
revenue. But, lo, Wise Men in Washington
decreed that our Signs belied the Law of
the Land. They were, ‘twas accused, an eyesore 75
along our Public Highway. And if the
State would not take them down, then Federal
funds to build our roads would stop.
This monetary blackmail cut deep and
our Governor removed the informative 80
Signs to save our moneys. And that’s not all,
Mr. Cronkite, the County Lancaster, where
Indian defendants, lawyers, and families
awaited Federal trial, distributed
to these poor, uprooted by no choice save 85
compellation by the Federal
Government, certain stamps by which they could
obtain food. Now the County Lancaster
overlooked a few minor details to
ensure the Indian families wouldn’t starve. 90
But, no! The Federal Bureaucracy
declared that no violation could be
violated and stopped the disbursement
of the food stamps. You say, Mr. Cronkite
and Senator Curtis, we wallow in 95
Watergate, but I tell you, sirs
wallowing in Bureaucracy is a
far worse wasting of America.
[Exit.]
Curtis. Must have had chores to do. Let’s not hinder further.
[Exeunt.]