December 3, 1975: Wednesday

I really don’t feel like writing much, even though most of the time was enjoyable enough. I was very happy to helo hop around the Dirty Ice and lounge in the sun at the Stranded Moraines, looking for pebbles while the helo went to rescue another group that had a broken helo.

Dr. Treves assigned me to be Kathy’s field assistant. So I followed her around, bungled things up, and talked with her about all sorts of things, mostly geologic observations. She told me that my apology last night was unnecessary.

I know it was. That’s why I did it.

Sidebar:
I have yet to find the proper path to take with her.

Shall I be objective? Look upon our proceedings as a challenge to my tortured, lonely soul? Or should I just be me? Let things happen as they happen, and not worry?

The answer is obvious. But why do I feel so paranoid. Depressed. Left out, if I am not in her immediate vicinity, or knowing what she’s doing.

That’s a definition for jealousy. But I’m not jealous. Why is there part of me that acts that way, thinking nothing but dark and evil thoughts? And why is there a part of me that doesn’t really care? Just wants to do my job. To learn of life. To love. And to be loved.

And why do both parts of me sincerely want to be friends with Kathy?

She is a strong willed person. I must be careful to choose my words carefully so that I do not offend her.

I have been farther south than I have ever been, or will ever be, between Black Island and Brown Peninsula, just west of Mount Aurora. And on the other side of the Brown Peninsula, across from the Garwood Valley. Mount Debrushka is very steep on the Hobbs Glacier side.

No mail for me today. It’s very depressing.

Lost the basketball game to the Kiwis, 34-28. We were actually ahead by three points at the half. Then I went in. No personal fouls tonight, just one technical. Did what I’ve been doing for years and years. Sat on the bench and became obnoxious. They just don’t appreciate an art form down here.

Today:
10¢ for a Post Card to Marylin Bath.