Scene II. San Clemente, in California.

[Enter Pat, Tricia, and Julie.]
Pat. They almost subpoenaed your father!
Julie. Those nasty liberals.
Pat. Why the very idea of making poor
Richard appear in court to testify
or come before that idiotic 5
Watergate Committee, I don’t understand!
Tricia. The thrill seeking bunch of hooligans!
Pat. Why, I put my foot down and told Richard
not to go. It’s his privilege as Chief
Executive to deny his presence 10
to the Senate. Or to the courts, for that matter.
[Enter Rosemary Woods.]
Why, he even gave all those memos and notes.
And what do they want? The man himself!
Give some Democrats an inch and they will
want several acres. 15
Rosemary. More of these blasphemous tapes. I swear,
your husband and his friends do more talking.
But I guess all’s for the better. ‘Twill be of
great historical value in years to come.
Just think, recordings of important 20
conferences saved for posterity.
Your Richard’s a wise man, indeed, dear Pat.
Pat. I know. And even wiser still. These
historical documents are worth
a considerable tax deduction! 25
Rosemary. No!
Pat. Why, yes. He did the very same with his
Vice-Presidential papers. By just
giving them to the Archives he reduced
our tax by four hundred thousand dollars. 30
Rosemary. I wish my husband could lower our taxes.
Pat. Richard only paid eight hundred dollars
to taxes last year. And only
seven hundred the year before.
Rosemary. Amazing! 35
Pat. Yes, and look at this house. Who would have thought
that old San Clemente could be improved,
capitally, and so enhanced, without
costing our family a cent?
Rosemary. Extraordinary! Yes, but I must go 40
and transcribe these tapes. I’ve fallen behind.
[Exit Rosemary.]
Tricia. A wonderful servant!
Julie. So loyal. So obedient.
Pat. Just like the vast silent majority
and all the other members of Richard’s staff. 45
[Exeunt.]